Moments In Time
by between the waves
Summary: Drabbles. HM, and JAG in general, for drabbles100 at LiveJournal. Updated, #16. After two years. Yes, I know.
1. Hope Dies Last

_**Title: Hope Dies Last**_  
Fandom: JAG  
Characters: Harmon Rabb/Sarah Mackenzie  
Prompt: #1 - Beginnings  
Word Count: 320  
Rating: G  
Info: Harm/Mac, reflection/fluff

Disclaimer: They're not mine sigh they belong to DPB and yes, I'll put them back when I'm done playing

A/N: This is a series of drabbles I'm doing for the drabbles100 challenge at livejournal.

* * *

'_La esperanza muere última… Hope dies last._' At one time, she might've believed that, but not anymore. They'd had plenty of times when it seemed there was nothing left but to give up. But hope seemed to be the one thing that _wouldn't_ die, like a candle in the wind it seemed to stubbornly bounce back every time. Nine years of shared history said that had to stand for something. And so they'd stood on the edge of a precipice, doing an altogether familiar dance fueled by doubts and hesitancy and underneath it all... love. One step forward, two steps back seemed to be the constant, ever since the beginning, since their rose garden.

History can only go so long before it repeats itself, and once again, they came to a crossroads. It seemed like the end, but the closer they got to a forced separation, the more they started thinking with their hearts instead of their heads. There were a few false starts, but eventually they got it right. Maybe the third time really _was_ the charm. Maybe it was because this time they knew they were going to be forced over the edge and there were but two choices, to fall on their own, or to come together and save themselves. She smiles when she realizes how lucky they are, not many people get so many chances to get things right, but Fate proved even stronger than their stubbornness.

When she feels the tiniest movement next to her, she lazily opens her eyes, allowing the sunlight to filter in slowly while the blurry images assaulting her eyes came into focus. He's watching her, curled into what is now 'her spot,' nestled into his arms, safe and warm and most of all loved. She sends a small prayer of thanks heavenward as their eyes meet; to a God she hasn't spoken to most of her adult life, and smiles.


	2. Stronger

_Title: Stronger_  
Fandom: JAG  
Characters: General (Harmon Rabb/Sarah Mackenzie)  
Prompt: #35 – Sixth Sense  
Word Count: 232  
Rating: G  
Info: Harm/Mac, Episode: Fair Winds and Following Seas

A/N: I'm not really sure what I think about this, but here it is. Second in a series of drabbles about characters that I regrettably don't own.

* * *

She always knows when he's watching her, she has a sort of sixth sense when it comes to him, as he does about her. It's been that way for longer than she can remember and she wouldn't change that for anything. They've been friends for almost a decade now, and sometimes she thinks they know each other almost better than they do themselves. She says almost, because they've had their share of trouble in the area where it counts the most.

He has his demons as she has hers, and on their own, they are strong, but not always strong enough. The last year and a half has shown that, because she's had to face life without him more times than she cares to recall, and where in the past she might've enjoyed the 'independence', now it just feels _wrong_ when he's not there.

And she knows the reason. Maybe it's taken a while to admit, but she's known it for a long time now. And so tonight, she's going to try, before it's too late, because she really doesn't want to have to live without him again.

So when she finally makes up her mind, she wastes no time, because then she might talk herself out of it. One deep breath and she jumps in headfirst.

"Let's talk about... you and me."


	3. Admitting Love

_Title: Admitting Love_  
Fandom: JAG  
Characters: General (Harmon Rabb/Sarah Mackenzie)  
Prompt: #33 – Too Much  
Word Count: 499  
Rating: PG  
Info: Harm/Mac, Episode: Lifeline

A/N: Third drabble, and I still don't own 'em

* * *

_"You lose control in my world and you die."  
"You're not flying a tomcat now. You don't need that lifeline. Let it go before it becomes a noose."_  
-Harm and Mac, _Lifeline_

It was his kiss that did her in, opened her mind to every single possibility she'd thought was long gone, and to the fact that history was about to repeat itself in the form of a bad decision that drew closer every day.

She'd later realize that everything changed in a moment, and that when she looked up into his eyes, every doubt she'd had about them flew out the window. They'd talked that night, went deeper than they'd ever dared, but this time with the somber realization that nothing would ever be the same. They'd made promises they could only hope to keep, and that only time would be able to judge. But then they'd come as close as they ever had to admitting love, and the rest was history.

Tears were in her eyes, any thought of a professional facade long gone as her hand made it's way to his shoulder, putting them in a position reminiscent of dancing. But it seemed they'd been dancing almost from the very beginning.

"I… I can't do this. It's too much, Harm. I can't."

And of course, he misunderstood what she meant at first and started to back away, only to be pulled closer.

"I wasn't talking about you Harm, you're the only thing I'm actually sure about. Well, mostly."

She had to smile a tiny bit at that, despite the tears falling down her face.

As her hand wandered up to trace his face, she cursed herself for not seeing what he had tried to tell her before. He cursed himself for not trying harder to make her see, but maybe they had to get through that to appreciate where they were then. And so he took a deep breath and let go of the lifeline tightening around his neck. He'd let go, and hope she'd catch him.

"So what _are_ you talking about?"

"Mic, the wedding, everything... It's all out of control, and if we're talking about lifelines and nooses, I've got one of my own."

"If you're not sure, Mac, then I'm asking you right now not to let this go any farther."

"I'm sure of you- you've always been there. And, I'm sure that I can't marry someone I don't love."

"Then don't marry him, Mac."

Clarity came quickly, the realization that they had both let go, and that it was only left for them to catch each other. Slowly, they wrapped into a hug, an unspoken resolution made, and finally, peace.

With her head tucked into Harm's chest, her voice was muffled.

"God, we're screwed up aren't we?"

It wasn't accusatory or bitter, it actually sounded like she was amused.

"Well at least we can be screwed up together."

"Sounds like a plan."

There were still issues, but they'd work them out. Together.


	4. Moments

Title:_ Moments  
_Fandom: JAG  
Characters: General (Harmon Rabb/Sarah Mackenzie)  
Prompt: #51 – Water  
Word Count: 500  
Rating: PG  
Info: General Series (Harm/Mac, Episode: Hail & Farewell Part II)

A/N: Number 4, and maybe if I ask enough times, DPB will remember not to sue me since I'm only borrowing them.

* * *

It's an odd feeling, being trapped in a moment when you know that everything is about to change. You can affect the type of change that comes about, but you can do nothing to stop it, because that's the nature of life, just when you think everything is relatively settled, some new upheaval comes along and changes things again. You can't stay in one place too long, because you'll eventually get left behind, and if you try to stop the changes you might get trampled.

It was one of these moments that Sarah MacKenzie now found herself caught in. True to form, there was a sense of anticipation of whatever lay ahead, and in all honesty, most times she liked that life was constantly changing. It challenged her, molded her, maybe even made her a better person. It she had to put a picture to it, she'd think of the ocean, always moving, never stagnating, and affecting everything. And thinking of the ocean made her think of Harm, and through the years, he had become her ocean, complex and ever-changing, but always there. Her constant.

It had taken her long enough to realize that, though. And that brought up moments when she wasn't so proud of the changes, because she knew they'd been caused by bad choices. Sometimes she wished that she could remain in these moments until she made the right choice, despite chiding herself over what she considered a juvenile notion. Just as soon as the moment started, it would be over and she'd be left to deal with the consequences.

There'd been plenty of these moments lately, all of them with less than satisfactory resolutions, or none at all. She couldn't say what was different about this moment... well maybe it was because she was tired of drifting through life, just letting things happen. Or the fact that she'd had enough of feeling like she was being dragged under the waves and out of control.

Whatever the reasons, the result was clear, because they'd sat together, staring at the ocean as if asking it for the answers. She was feeling adrift again, and once more, he was trying to help anchor her. There had been plenty of times when their moments had intersected- this was one of them.

He'd asked her to talk to him, and she'd said there was more to it than just another of her failed romances, so he'd just told her to let him know when she was ready and then started walking, pausing to look back for a second. And it hit her that she was doing it again, just letting things happen, and it had to stop sometime. So she got up and started towards him. And when he knew she was there even without looking, and slowed his pace to match hers, she grabbed onto the moment.

"Harm? Just walk with me?"

When their hands met of their own accord, he just looked at her and smiled.

"Always, Mac. Always."


	5. One More Sunset

Title:_ One More Sunset_  
Fandom: JAG  
Characters: General (Harm, Mac, Mattie, etc)  
Prompt: #32 – Sunset  
Word Count: 279  
Rating: PG  
Info: Somewhere after FWFS, and assume that they're in San Diego now. I'm not really fond of this, but I got 'One More Day' by Diamond Rio stuck in my head earlier, and the crazy plot bunnies wouldn't leave me alone until I got this out of my system.

This is number 5, and if you still feel the need to ask if I own them, I'm flattered, but, no.

* * *

It was times like this when the world seemed so very perfect. It was only them, just Harm and Mac without complications. They were simply sitting together watching the sunset off La Jolla Cove paint the sky into a million different colors.

Ever since she was a little girl, she'd had a habit of wishing on sunsets. It was one of the good memories she had with her dad, when as a five year old, she'd sat on his lap at the edge of the desert and watched a sunset. He told her each one was special and magical in its own way, and part of childhood was being able to believe in magic. For a while though, she'd grown jaded, feeling that it was only a bit of foolishness. But eventually she came to believe in magic again, and so for the last few years, her wish had been the same, every time. A few years ago, she might've made other wishes, to find her good man, her good career and lots of shoes. Things changed, the priorities she'd held a few years ago were radically different from now.

And she listened to the sounds of his heartbeat, mixing with the crashing of the waves and the laughter of children, she made a now familiar wish.

_One more sunset._

She opened her eyes to find an expression of pure love on Harm's face, and leaned in for a soft kiss before going back to watching the waves. And when she spotted Mattie running towards them with one two year old riding on her back and another in hot pursuit, their three miracles, she

knew she'd never stop wishing.

A/N: Guh.. yeah, I know, total crap, and here I was hoping these little exercises would help me..


	6. One

Title:_ One_  
Fandom: JAG  
Characters: General + (Harm/Mac)  
Prompt: #30 – Death  
Word Count: 258  
Rating: PG  
Info: Season 8, All Ye Faithful

If you've gotta know where I got the title, it's because I was listening to 'Bloody Sunday' by U2, so it's pretty unrelated to the story, other than in the obvious way.

A/N: If you are keeping track, they're on my short list of Christmas gifts I'd love. Right above the '65 Stingray I've been asking for.

* * *

_Death is a challenge. It tells us not to waste time... It tells us to tell each other right now that we love each other. -Leo F. Buscaglia._

She wondered how many times they could cheat death and come out relatively unscathed. The past few years hadn't been easy on them. They'd been faced with their own mortality more times than she cared to remember, and each time seemed to pull them a little closer to the brink, to the thin line that seems to separate life and death.

She'd met someone today at the Wall. Harm still didn't know that she went there to talk to his dad quite often. But today, there was a graceful older lady who moved with an odd combination of pride and sadness. For some reason Mac decided to talk to her, and ended up hearing a story that could've been her and Harm, if not for one vital detail. Andrea Smith's best friend had gotten called up one day and never came back.

So later on that night, when they were gathered at Bud and Harriet's for Christmas Eve, she would worry a little more when he ran late, her smile would last just a little bit longer when he finally got there. And when Bud said "God bless us... every one," they silently mouthed 'Merry Christmas' to each other, and she'd be just a little bit more thankful to be alive.

But later on, when they finally got a moment to themselves on yet another porch, she'd tell him everything.


	7. In The End

Title:_ In The End_  
Fandom: JAG  
Characters: General + (Harm/Mac)  
Prompt: #21 – Friends  
Word Count: 232  
Rating: PG  
Info: Season 10, after The 4 Solution

A/N: So by now you know the drill so I don't have to say it, right? Wrong. Unfortunately, my legal department says I'd be better off mentioning that they're still not mine.

* * *

_"One measure of friendship consists not in the number of things friends can discuss, but in the number of things they need no longer mention." -Clifton Paul Fadiman_

Sometimes they are perfectly in sync. They can sit together in comfortable silence and work side by side, but it takes only a teasing glance or a shared thought to bring matching smiles. They have the most fun when the finish each other's sentences just to surprise people. Those are the times she loves the most.

Recently, they both seem to have grown up. Maybe the time spent apart has taught them to appreciate each other... Maybe it just doesn't matter why anymore.

Part of the danger of knowing someone so well is knowing all the things that hurt the most and just how to use them, but that hasn't happened much lately, and she's thankful for that. Now though, it feels like they're almost back to normal, and this time she knows deep down, that it's only a matter of time before their paths will collide for good.

Many a time she's heard it said that love is friendship set on fire, but only now does she actually get it. It's what kept her from giving up on them so many times in the past. It's what's made all the pain worth it, and in the end, it is what will save them.


	8. At Least, Not Yet

Title:_ At Least, Not Yet (Or, a Study in Forgiveness)_  
Fandom: JAG  
Characters: General + (Harm/Mac)  
Prompt: #58 – Dinner  
Word Count: 309  
Rating: PG  
Info: Anywhere after Adrift Part II

A/N: So I've been writing one of these every day, and now we're all caught up, except for a new one I'm working on. And even after all of that, they're still not mine.

* * *

For all of their awareness of each other, they still hadn't mastered the art of not putting their feet in their respective mouths. Times like now, for example. They were arguing over something trivial, it didn't really matter what anymore, when inadvertently, he had taken his turn in their familiar dance of miscommunication. There had been a moment of surprised silence, of _'I can't believe I said that.'_ / _'I can't believe he said that.'_

She was fully expecting for their week to be propelled into another one of their stubborn games. Inevitably, such mind-games culminated in either a standoff, or a truce. Truthfully, the game was getting a bit old, and she was coming to realize that for all their eloquence in the courtroom, they both had moments of utter clueless-ness when it came to each other.

Which was why she was shocked when after another beat, he simply looked up and apologized. Three simple words and _that_ smile were all it took to forgive him this time, and she quickly found herself smiling back and telling him it was okay. And when he offered dinner at his place even though they both knew he was forgiven, she'd accept of course, because she never missed out on a chance to have him cook.

And she told herself she forgave him because she knew she might say something hurtful in the future and would want his forgiveness quickly too, and that it was because they were growing to appreciate each other more... But when she got home to the privacy of her own four walls, she would have to admit that it was actually that flyboy smile she pretended to be immune to, and then would hurry to go get ready for dinner. Harm didn't need to know the real reason for her sudden forgiveness. At least, not yet.


	9. The Long Way Home

Title:_ The Long Way Home_  
Fandom: JAG  
Characters: General + (Harm/Mac)  
Prompt: #25 - Strangers  
Word Count: 386  
Rating: PG  
Info: Season 9 or 10-ish?

A/N: I'm not crazy about this, but I guess I can deal. And maybe DPB won't be so inclined to sue if I tell you guys once again that I don't own them. (But oh how I wish!)

* * *

_"Friendship with oneself is all-important because without it one cannot be friends with anyone else in the world." - Eleanor Roosevelt_

It's been a while since she could honestly say she was happy with her life. She's made choices that were completely out of character for her, and that went against everything that she believes in. She can see that somewhere along the way, she's lost track of herself, and for the life of her she can't figure out how to start putting the pieces together, to connect the dots and find some semblance of a person she can live with. Or one that the people who matter the most to her can live with.

This is how he finds her a few minutes later, obviously thinking about something in front of the reflecting pool. There are tears in her eyes that are stubbornly refusing to fall, and occasionally a stranger will cast a curious glance at her and she'll ignore it. He isn't even sure why he wanted to be here tonight, usually he comes to the National Mall on Christmas Eve, and Christmas it is not. Winter is losing its grip on DC now, and soon he knows the days will be growing longer and warmer. But that still doesn't explain why she's fighting herself in the dark, especially here.

She knows he's there, but it's cold. Everything's felt that way lately and she's not sure where to start to change that, only that she has to. She meets his eyes for a moment when he moves closer, but only for a minute. She's still trying to find all the words that will make up the things she needs to say. It's not a fun feeling to be helpless, not knowing what to say, or even how to find the words to ask for help, and to ask the one person you can always trust to help you find your way back.

So when she makes a noise that is a mix of impatience, frustration, and sadness, he understands sits down without a word. And when his just being there seems to make a difference, she knows what she's known all along, that as the old saying goes, 'this too will pass,' and that once she does find herself again, she's not letting go.


	10. Missing

Title: _Messages_  
Fandom: JAG  
Characters: General (Harm/Mac)  
Prompt: #85 - Missing  
Word Count: 500  
Rating: PG  
Info: Angst, set anywhere during the time Harm was with the CIA

A/N: So, what have we accomplished? Well you should all know by now that I don't own them at least. And maybe I'm learning that sometimes provided with the right mood, I can write things that can sorta/kinda/almost pass for angst.

* * *

When she lets her mind wander, it takes her to places she doesn't want to go to. Condemning all that she thought she stood for. She used to think she was better than that, better than abandoning a friend, the one person who means the most. Now she isn't sure what to think.

In the past, she might've sought him out, and even if they never said a word, he'd be there silently supporting her, giving her a chance to be weak for a while without putting her down.

Now that it's nearly gone she realizes just how much she needed whatever _they_ were.

And that will send her mind down yet another path she's not fond of, all the things that could've been done differently, all the reasons she had not to say 'never.' But they'll stay tucked away in the recesses of her mind for now, because she can't afford to let them come out here, not where others can see them.

So if someone asks her if she misses him, or if she's heard from him, she'll brush them off with some flippant remark about his life being his business, and go on, business as usual. But everything will feel hollow, like it's only a fragile shell waiting for the slightest disturbance to fracture it into a million pieces that'll never be fixed.

When she gets home tonight, to her sanctuary, the strings that hold her together will gradually loosen, and she'll wish for the thousandth time that she could go back and change things. Tonight, the dreams will come, haunting her, reminding her of all the mistakes she made, but also keeping her close to him, because somehow she'll see a little bit of him, off doing whatever he's doing for Webb and his damned 'company'. That will help a little. That she still has that little piece of their connection is both amazing and comforting.

In the middle of the night when she rolls over and knows she won't sleep anymore, she will finally break down and try calling him... Again. His answering machine seems to be the only thing she can count on lately, and in a way, it's a lifeline for her, because she can hear his voice, warm and carefree from a time in the past when things actually made sense. She'll probably leave a message, this one a little bit more worried than the last, because he still can't or won't call her back, and she'll wonder if they can ever get back to what they used to be.

Tomorrow, she'll wake up and do almost the same thing over again, because it's becoming the only routine she knows. Though maybe tomorrow night she won't dream of him so vividly she can _feel_ him, won't wake up and leave another message in the middle of the night. But tomorrow night, she _will_ stare up at the ceiling and miss him.

Across town, he'll listen to her message and do the same.


	11. Healing

Title:_ Healing  
_Fandom: JAG  
Characters: General (Harm/Mac)  
Prompt: #80 - Healing  
Word Count: 407  
Rating: PG  
Info: hmm, not sure what it is, but sometime after Harm came back

So many things have gone wrong since one little word sent them on a tailspin they're only now starting to pull out of. The nightmares are threatening to close in again, and she's tired of it all. They've tried to break her so many times lately. The regrets, and the fears, the endless 'what ifs' and the problems she can't let go of, but also can't let herself think of during the day will try to haunt her through the darkness. But tonight, she's going to sleep soundly, without fear. Tonight, she's in his arms.

By some strange twist of circumstance and fate they've been thrown together again, and while they didn't start out the night together, she can finally accept what her mind has been telling her for so long.

A nightmare is what brought her around to action, based on the knowledge that she can't exist without him. For a second though, the thought of taking down the barriers and letting him in scared her more than her nightmares. But that second passed quickly, and shaky fingers dialed his number. After a few rings, she heard his sleepy voice through the phone line and lost her confidence, quickly making up some excuse that sounded flimsy even to her.

This time, he recognized the call for help when he heard it, and a few minutes later, she found him on her doorstep, being there for her as much as she'd let him. And this time she realized she was too damn tired to be proud. So gradually all of it came out, the words she didn't mean, and the things she thought she'd never get to say to correct them, and even the nightmares which came all too often.

It wasn't until she took a deep breath and realized that it didn't hurt anymore did she understand how much things had changed in the time it had taken them to move from the door to the couch, eventually curling into a familiar hug. That she hadn't realized just how much it was healing her by talking to him. Or at least she hadn't understood all of that until he tugged her closer, laying them back along the couch with her old afghan draped over them, then just closed his eyes and kept holding her. There were no grand declarations of love, just the promise of life and two people who meant the world to each other.


	12. Entretien de Coeur

Title:_ Entretien de Coeur_ (Roughly, 'Heart Talk' in French)  
Fandom: JAG  
Characters: General + (Harm/Mac)  
Prompt: #38 – Touch  
Word Count: 324  
Rating: PG  
Info: Season 7, Mixed Messages.

Basically just the plot line about Mac returning from Indonesia, Lillyana's not in this, though she exists in this universe, she's just not part of this story.

And pretend for a moment that Mac flew into a civilian airport on the way back, and that Renee has been sent on her merry way already.

Sometimes she realized how much she underestimated touch. A rather simple connection, in fact had the ability to change one's whole outlook. This, she decided the moment she stepped into his arms. He didn't have to come, she wasn't expecting him, but she was glad he was here all the same. She didn't know yet whose idea it was for him to meet her at the airport, and maybe she didn't care. All she knew is that when she stepped off the plane and saw him waiting in civvies, she forgot every reason she had for distancing herself and indulged in a selfish whim- the need to connect.

They stood that way for minutes, heedless of passersby, letting their hearts start the repair work they needed so badly after the past year. When the silence finaly wasn't enough, they eased back, watching and hoping for a cue or direction.

"Harm, can we work things out?"

There, she'd taken the first step, and yes it was a slightly ambiguous one, but she figured they had to start somewhere. She wasn't afraid to look him in the eye, and let her heart to the talking instead of her head for once.

The past few months had been especially difficult. He had waited, given her the time she needed to work things out in her head, and eventually let her know in his own way that he was here. She could see the moment comprehension dawned in him.

_'Message sent and received.'_

A shared smile, and his confident remark was all it took to change things. Mainly because she knew how to look beyond what he said and hear what he meant.

"We always have." _'We always will.'_

This was their hearts talking, and it was pure and simple, without need for word-games. It was understood now that a missing piece of their world had just clicked into place, and when their lips touched, it was enough.


	13. One Second

Title:_ One Second  
_Fandom: JAG  
Characters: General + (Harm/Mac)  
Prompt: #9 - Months  
Word Count: 100 (a true drabble)  
Rating: PG  
Info: Season 10, after 4 Solution, just pretend FWFS isn't there and that they've been stealth dating.

* * *

They've known each other for almost ten years, and they have plenty of shared history.

They've been dating for nearly three months, and they both know this is the proverbial 'it,' though that hasn't been said yet.

Well, it _hadn't_ been said until exactly forty-seven seconds ago, when he'd gotten down on one knee.

It's been nine seconds since he decided there weren't enough words and just asked her to marry him.

It's been one second since she said yes.

And then she doesn't know what time anything is because their lips just met, and quite frankly, she doesn't care.


	14. A Beautiful Day

Title:_ A Beautiful Day_  
Fandom: JAG  
Characters: General (I'm not telling who it is, maybe it's Mac, or maybe Mattie, you can decide)  
Prompt: #76 - Rebirth  
Words: 303  
Rating: PG

Info: Season 10

Disclaimer: JAG belongs to DPB and friends, and "Beautiful Day" belongs to U2

* * *

_It's a beautiful day, don't let it get away. U2, 'Beautiful Day'_

It _is_ a beautiful day. She hasn't been able to see that in a long time, but eventually, time- with all of its soothing ripples and jagged edges- has changed her, molding her to fit the circumstances.

It a beautiful day. She hasn't been able to see that in a long time, but eventually, time- with all of its soothing ripples and jagged edges- has changed her, molding her to fit the circumstances. 

She might not have been able to appreciate the simple beauty in a day like this before, but time has a habit of changing _everything_, whether you're ready or not.

There had been so many days written off as 'bad' lately that this... anomaly nearly took her by surprise. Suddenly where she'd been despondent and moody before, now all she can think is that it is a nice day. The sun is shining and the sky is abnormally blue with pale wispy clouds scattered about, as if haphazardly tossed there by a child, and overall, the feeling of peace. It feels like rebirth to her, though she's not entirely sure she believes in that. Or maybe she does...Yes, this must be rebirth. Because sooner or later everything comes full circle if we can just hang on a little longer on this crazy ride.

It's a small step, considering that millions of people wake up every day, and realize that each one is beautiful, but considering the road she's been down recently, it's an accomplishment. Sometimes the biggest changes start with small steps like that. It's been said that the journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step, and only now does she understand how true that is.

The past few months have affected her, maybe more than she'll ever know, but it's not hopeless anymore, there's a light at the end of the tunnel now. It's starting to come through to her and all that's left to do is follow the light


	15. Belief

_Title: Belief_  
Fandom: JAG  
Characters: General (Harmon Rabb/Sarah Mackenzie)  
Prompt: #34 – Not Enough  
Word Count: 461  
Rating: PG  
Info: Harm/Mac, future drabble - angst/romance  
A/N: Not really a true angst fic, but there's a little in there somewhere.

Okay, so this is my getting back into writing thing. I didn't even use one of the pieces of a story I came up with since the last time I posted a drabble, this is all new, and no, I'm not sure it's all that good, but I kinda like it.

Disclaimer: They belong to Don Bellisario and even though he's done with them, he won't share them with me pouts. Oh, and the song at the beginning is "Belief" by John Mayer from his new album, Continuum, so it's obviously not mine.

* * *

_Belief is a beautiful armor  
But makes for the heaviest sword  
Like punching under water  
You never can hit who you're trying for - John Mayer, "Belief"_

He's spent most of his life believing. Believing in the truth, believing that his father was still alive, believing he would come home, believing in flight. Belief hasn't been kind to him in general. He lost two out of those beliefs in one fell swoop, on a day a few years ago that he doesn't remember clearly for feeling so adrift. Beliefs that had shaped most of his life were suddenly gone, and in a way he had felt a part of himself die along with them.

Belief has always been his quest, his Sisyphean task. And belief would nearly kill him time and again, only to pull him out at the last minute. When belief came crashing down, it's armor punctured and shattered, he would be forced to briefly admit it's futility, and yet every time he came back for more, like Don Quixote to his proverbial windmill.

And in a strange way, his beliefs got tangled up in each other. Because the cold hard truth was that his father was dead, though he hadn't died in a plane or in a prisoner of war camp, he'd died fighting for someone he believed in, even loved. Harmon Rabb, Jr. became a pilot, and then a lawyer. _And the truth is everything, because belief isn't always enough._

Times like now, when, for once- all is well make him think, during the quiet in the night when moonlight falls into the room just right and he can see it washing over his young son. These are the times when he thinks about belief and how it's changed him. That belief has both knocked him to the ground and sent him to the skies is both cruel irony and comfort, because belief always is.

There had come a time when he was left with very little to believe in, and strangely enough, that's when things began to look up again. Because the one person who'd been there with him through so much became his belief. And she had believed in him, so gradually he learned to believe in himself again.

He almost doesn't hear her when she comes in, but he knows she's there anyhow. When she fits herself in the place under his arm, they both move closer, sharing warmth and strength and something they'd both been afraid of for so long. Time changes people, and gradually, so do their beliefs. So he still believes in the truth, but he also believes in her, and they believe in love.

And he realizes there's someone else he believes in now, as they watch over their son.


	16. Sweet, Vonage!

_Title: Sweet, Vonage_  
Fandom: JAG  
Characters: General (Harmon Rabb/Sarah Mackenzie)  
Prompt: # 74 – Dark  
Word Count: 311  
Rating: PG  
Info: Harm/Mac, future drabble – romance, fluff, humor  
A/N: I know, me writing humor and fluff in one setting, what's going on here? Nevertheless, every time I saw the Vonage commercial with the bleach blonde mistaking sharks for dolphins, I thought of Renee. And if I can think of Renee and grin sadistically, then surely Mac can too. Thus, I present fluff. Also, if you wanna watch the vid, there's a link in my profile.

A/N 2: This was written a long time ago and never posted here, along with several others that I'll add over the next few days.

* * *

Sarah MacKenzie snickered quietly at a late night television ad for Vonage with a bleached out blonde excitedly proclaiming sharks to be dolphins and gleefully attempting to join them. There was definitely something amusing to the concept, in a slightly twisted way. Then again, maybe it wasn't so irrational after all. The past few years, she'd grown to dislike blondes quite a bit, Harriet excused. And so it didn't take too much imagination to place another bleach-blonde in the place of the woman on television, which made her giggle softly into the darkness.

Yes, it was a little vindictive, and rather childish too, but it was all in good fun. Besides, she'd gotten her guy, hadn't she?  
A drowsy voice from somewhere in the vicinity of the head resting on her stomach broke into her reverie.

"Mac? Whassofunny?"

If she wasn't already amused, his sleep slurred words would've gotten to her. As it was, she had already broken out in another bright grin.

"Mmm, nothing Harm, just.. thinking about old friends."

He seemed to take a moment to ponder that, not much more aware than he had been a few seconds ago, and she doubted he'd remember this conversation in the morning anyhow.

"Sleep, flyboy."

Receiving a string of nonsensical syllables and something that resembled an 'I love you," she switched the TV off and curled into him, sighing contentedly. Two years together and he still made her feel like everything was okay just by being there like this, in moments of normalcy she used to think didn't exist except in movies. Times like these were when all the problems they'd had getting here faded off into the distance, seeming more like a not so pleasant dream than reality.  
He draped an arm over her, and she drifted off to sleep with a soft smile on her face.  
Sweet Vonage, indeed.


End file.
